Sometimes the only thing holding us back is fear.

Fear can be an amazing motivator. It can also be a crutch, an excuse and in extreme situations the reason we just stand still.

Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's

 

Marilyn Monroe, courtesy of philsternarchives.com

That's what is has been for me. The standing still in a whirl of emotion, like that deer in the preverbial headlights or Marilyn as the case may be.
I wish I could say I have a better excuse for not posting for so long (and it seems from looking over my previous posts that all I do have is excuses for my lack of words). I wish my excuse was an epic reason, but in the cold hard light of the afternoon it was fear with a capital F.

Unfounded fears it would seem also and to prove my point I'll bare my soul and show you.

1. The longer that I didn't blog, more followers I would lose and further emphasize my fear that I and my blog is a small waste of space. The reality: I still have the same amount of followers and I'm not a waste of space ( I dont have major esteem issues, its just when I get tired I hear the voice of my ex-husband in my head - wasn't really a supportive husband; note the 'ex' part.
2. The time I was staying away from the blog-o-sphere was spent studying, studying, studying, and that was what was best for my future. The reality: I learnt that all study and no play makes me a very cranky girl.
3. That I could be the wonder-mum that I hear about, and feel is shoved on all mothers universally as the 'idea we can have it all'. The reality: All mothers suffer with mother-guilt (its not just me) and that its okay that I'm a sole parent with a cute little (he would make me say big) boy.

So it seems that my three fears are unfounded, as I probably knew they would be...
P.S. Thanks for listening.